Dubbed “the most important leadership skill” in 2023 by Forbes, empathy is taking on new significance in today’s workplace. As a soft skill, empathy enables leaders to understand and relate to the perspectives and emotions of their team members, friends, and family. Historically, empathy has been undervalued as a key leadership trait, despite its transformative potential.
The benefits of empathy are undeniable: it fosters trust, respect, productivity, job satisfaction, and collaboration. When leaders prioritise empathy, they create a positive team culture and strong interpersonal dynamics. Beyond its people-centered advantages, empathy can also drive tangible business results—leading to increased innovation, employee retention, and overall organisational success. Great leadership requires a balance of many skills, and empathy helps leaders know when and how to apply the right ones at the right time.
Is Empathy Innate?
Not everyone is naturally empathetic, and that’s perfectly normal. Some people are naturally attuned to others’ emotions, while others struggle to connect on this level. Additionally, people’s ability to feel and express empathy can fluctuate over the course of their lives.
A 2019 report from the Harvard Business Review notes that “even if empathy isn’t an innate strength, it is a skill that can be learned and refined through effort and practice.”
Leaders who struggle with empathy can still improve their emotional intelligence, leading to more cohesive and productive teams.
What Can You Do If it Doesn’t Come Naturally?
The first step is self-awareness. If you feel empathy isn’t your strongest trait, it’s helpful to recognise the signs that might indicate a lack of empathy. Reflecting on these signs can reveal areas where you may need to improve:
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- You’re overly critical of others: You tend to see things in black and white and often fail to recognise your own flaws.
- You think others are too sensitive: If you frequently dismiss others as overly emotional, it may be time to soften your approach and consider their perspectives.
- You struggle to listen to others’ perspectives: Listening deeply and actively is crucial for empathy.
- You avoid emotional situations: Difficulty coping with emotions may lead to avoidance of tough conversations or crises.
- You’re confused by others’ emotions: A lack of empathy can make it hard to understand why others feel the way they do.
- You blame others too quickly: This can lead to victim-blaming and a failure to acknowledge the emotions of others.
Steps to Build Empathy
Empathy is a skill that can be developed, even if it doesn’t come naturally. Here are practical steps to help mute the negative aspects of low empathy and enhance your ability to connect with others:
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- Become a better communicator: Consider taking communication courses or practice being more present during conversations. Avoid rushing through interactions.
- Cultivate curiosity: Show genuine interest in the lives and perspectives of those around you.
- Focus on common ground: Look for shared experiences or values that connect you to others, rather than emphasising differences.
- Ask for feedback: Encourage your team to provide feedback on your leadership style. This not only builds trust but also allows for personal growth.
- Be vulnerable: Let your team know you’re working to improve your empathy. Vulnerability builds stronger connections.
- Create a safe environment: Foster transparency and open dialogue, encouraging reciprocal communication.
- Seek professional guidance: Consider working with a coach who can provide an impartial perspective and help you develop your emotional intelligence.
Why Do Some People Struggle with Empathy?
Everyone experiences low empathy from time to time, especially in stressful situations. However, if empathy consistently feels elusive, it may be due to several factors. Research suggests that childhood experiences, emotional regulation difficulties, and even genetic predispositions can influence one’s ability to feel empathy.
According to Dr. Brené Brown, research professor and author, “Empathy is the antidote to shame,” but for those who have experienced trauma or high levels of stress, it can be difficult to connect with others on an emotional level. Understanding the root causes of your empathy challenges is key to overcoming them and becoming a more emotionally intelligent leader.
